Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
