Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
