So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
