Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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