turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
