In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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