you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
In America we eat man semen.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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