hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
