it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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