my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
did you just send me my own nude
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
