yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
