But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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