You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
