he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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