"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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