She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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