Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
