so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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