Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
