My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
