How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
