You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
