Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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