can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
