Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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