i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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