So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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