when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
