I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
