What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
