Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
