He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
