im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
