He had one of those small greek statue penises
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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