Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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