When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
