At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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