Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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