i can't believe i had my finger in that
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
