Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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