smell my finger.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
