Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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