if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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