Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Are we still banned from the library?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
