Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
