smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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