I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
