The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
