We're like a lot better than the average bears
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
