i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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